How We Choose: Understanding Choice Behavior and Why It Matters

Every day, we make hundreds of choices—most of them small, many of them automatic. What to eat, what to say, what to prioritize, what to ignore. It’s easy to assume our choices are simple reflections of our values or preferences. But in reality, choice behavior is shaped by something deeper: our emotional state, our environment, our sense of time, and even the systems we live in.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, Why did I do that when I knew better?—this post is for you.

Let’s talk about what drives our choices, how we can start to make decisions that reflect our whole selves (not just our stressed-out or short-term selves), and why this matters not just individually—but culturally, too.

In psychology, choice behavior refers to the process of evaluating and selecting between options. It’s influenced by internal factors (like emotion, executive function, or past experiences) and external ones (like peer pressure, cultural norms, or urgency).

But it’s also about which self is choosing.

Is it your present self—exhausted, overwhelmed, craving relief?

Or your future self—the one with long-term vision, values, and goals?

For people with ADHD, anxiety, or executive function challenges, the present self often wins. Not because of laziness or impulsivity, but because time feels distorted. The future can feel far away, abstract, or disconnected. In fact, psychologists call this self-continuity—and learning to strengthen it can help us make choices that align with our values. And in moments of emotional overload, short-term relief becomes the only thing that feels real.

Let’s normalize something: most of us make short-sighted decisions from time to time. Not because we don’t care, but because:

The brain wants quick relief from discomfort
Our energy is limited
Our emotional resources are taxed
We forget to pause long enough to ask, Does this align with who I want to be?

When that becomes a pattern, it starts to erode self-trust. We wonder, Why can’t I follow through? Why do I keep choosing what I’ll regret later? But the issue isn’t character—it’s context. When we build environments and internal systems that support thoughtful decision-making, we begin to choose differently.

Zooming out: we don’t make choices in a vacuum. We live in a culture that often rewards urgency over reflection, dominance over collaboration, and self-interest over collective care. In that environment, it’s easy to start modeling our choices on what’s normalized around us—whether or not it aligns with our values.

We’re told to “do what’s best for you,” but rarely invited to ask, What’s best for me and the people I impact?

Without space to reflect, we lose the muscle of discernment. And when that happens at scale, we get a society where power is prized over empathy, short-term gain over sustainability, and disconnection over accountability.

1. Build a Bridge to Your Future Self

Research shows that when we feel connected to our future selves, we’re more likely to make choices that reflect our values—not just our impulses. Try asking: